5 Ways to Avoid Temptation in Your Relationship

Honor God with your bodies. 1 Corinthians 6:20

Dating and in love

Dating and in love

As some whose love language is physical touch, I REALLY know how hard it can be to wait for sex and stay pure. But now that I’m married, I also know that it’s totally worth the wait. Here’s a few ways I learned to avoid temptation and make the wait easier.

1. Stay out of bed. Sure it’s a great place for naps, but do you really want to spend time napping with your boyfriend? Or is it just an excuse to get cozy and horizontal?

2. Hands above clothes at all times. Sure the stomach is not a private area, nor are your calves, but when hands are sliding under clothes, they don’t usually stop at just the non-sensitive parts.

3. Avoid being alone for long periods of time. My parents had the rule of no boys in the house without someone else there, but I realize for some of you that’s not realistic. And I really realize that you’re happy to have that alone time, but you need to limit it. Long make-out sessions get hot and heavy just because it’s a long build-up, so be kind to yourselves by not putting yourselves in the path of temptation and frustration.

4. Hands off bikini areas. Even above clothes, these are very sensitive areas and once this starts it’s a slippery slope. You start thinking, if it’s okay above the shirt then it’s okay below the shirt above to the bra and maybe eventually… Cause let’s be honest, it feels good and you’ll want more. So don’t go there in the first place. It’s better to not know what you’re missing.

5. Remember God is watching. I know, a little creepy, right? But it definitely helped me. Any time I wanted to edge a little closer to that line or say, “Well, this a grey area so I could probably…” I remembered God was there even in our intimate moments. I had to ask, is this really what I wanted Him to see?

Now it’s your turn. Can you add to the list? What are some ways you’ve found to combat temptation?

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By | 2015-09-08T09:38:25+00:00 August 12th, 2015|Relationships|30 Comments

About the Author:

I'm a tea-sipping, adventure-seeking, pug-loving kind of girl. I'm crazy for God and want to share his love with awesome girls around the globe.

30 Comments

  1. Ashley August 28, 2015 at 9:54 am - Reply

    These are great tips, I did not wait until I was married even though I did end up marrying the man! I think it would have been a more special wedding night if I would have waited though.

  2. Charlene Asay August 27, 2015 at 7:25 pm - Reply

    These are all amazing tips. Thank you for sharing them!

  3. Chandler August 27, 2015 at 5:36 pm - Reply

    Great suggestions! We also kept the light on and had a curfew when we were dating just to help avoid any temptations. Something so simple but really helped!

    Chandler
    http://www.lifeasalarsen.com

  4. Anonymous August 27, 2015 at 5:35 pm - Reply

    Great suggestions! We had a curfew when we were dating to avoid temptation as well as kept a light on. Something so simple but helps a ton!

    -Chandler
    http://www.lifeasalarsen.com

  5. Rachel - À LA MODEST August 17, 2015 at 1:34 pm - Reply

    Hi Megan!

    I just love that you wrote about this! NOBODY talks about this anymore. Nobody! This is like a breath of fresh air. My husband and I read IKDG before we even knew each other. You probably know what that is! Okay, I’ll spell it out for the other people who might be reading. I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris 🙂 Then when we began “courting,” we read Boy Meets Girl together and other books that really helped encourage us both in our quest for purity.

    To add to your list, we also took a step back on the physical touches when we crossed a particular boundary. For example, we allowed ourselves to hold hands while dating, but when we found ourselves kissing or touching inappropriate areas (even above clothes), we took holding hands away! It took a lot of discipline, for sure, and as you know! 🙂

    When Rob and I were dating then, we were living in neighboring states. Because we saw each other in person infrequently, that made it extra hard to keep our hands off each other! As my friend once said about her long distance boyfriend (now husband), we just couldn’t wait to show how much we loved each other!

    I would love to get to know you more!! I guess I could easily do that if I were to look back at your other posts, lol.

    À LA MODEST – Replacing insecurities with inspiration!

    • Megan Gonzalez August 17, 2015 at 3:34 pm - Reply

      Everyone has their own unique and useful methods of dealing with boundaries. Thank you for sharing yours! I look forward to getting to know you too!

  6. Roxanne August 14, 2015 at 3:53 pm - Reply

    Sometimes this can seem silly – BUT if you’re not practicing avoidance, then you’re asking for trouble. These are actual, practical ideas.

    • Megan Gonzalez August 14, 2015 at 4:17 pm - Reply

      That’s what I’m here for. I know when I was dating I wanted actual guidelines instead of fuzzy lingo. So that’s what I’m trying to offer. If there are any other topics you’d like to hear about please let me know!

  7. Melanie Pickett, Flying Blonde August 14, 2015 at 2:29 pm - Reply

    This is excellent and I will be showing it to my teenagers. These are great guidelines and absolutely necessary.

  8. Pamela August 13, 2015 at 4:20 pm - Reply

    Double date — you can enjoy being together without the temptation to get physical. One of my other rules for my daughters was they didn’t stay at each others homes. When my daughter went with his parents to visit extended family, Jonathon stayed at a cousins and my daughter stayed in the grandparents home. They probably thought i was crazy, but I think they knew why, too.

    • Megan Gonzalez August 14, 2015 at 10:27 am - Reply

      Thank you so much for sharing Pamela! These are some great suggestions.

  9. Marie with spreading-joy.org August 13, 2015 at 10:30 am - Reply

    You truly have to be on guard these days and deciding together to abstain from sex before marriage will help you both to keep your commitment

    • megdgonzalez August 13, 2015 at 2:33 pm - Reply

      It is truly important to make the decision together. It cannot be one sided because there will be times each of you will struggle and the other one has to be there to hold firm.

  10. Melanie August 13, 2015 at 5:00 am - Reply

    These are great suggestions.

  11. Britni August 13, 2015 at 1:11 am - Reply

    Great suggestions. I was taught growing up by the teacher {my brother-in-law, my seminary teacher, etc} they would get out a piece of paper and write no physical touch to having sex on the other end. They would put their pencil on a piece of paper starting at the no physical touch side. They would say, okay I’m going to start drawing a line in between these and I want you to tell me when you think you would feel comfortable stopping. They would start by saying “okay no I’m hugging, holding hands, etc” and I’d say okay keep going… and then it got to laying down together and they would always rush the pencil as fast as possible to the other end. Symbolizing the progression always happens faster than you would expect/think/imagine. It’s best to avoid those temptations all to begin with; because it’s so hard when you are in the middle of it all. Anyway, sorry for that long story! But I agree, you’ve got really great suggestions.

    • megdgonzalez August 13, 2015 at 10:13 am - Reply

      That’s a really interesting way of looking at it. And the speeding up is definitely a smart visualization. Thank you for sharing!

  12. Danielle August 12, 2015 at 7:55 pm - Reply

    Great advice! I read so many books with good information like this! But I don’t know that the average teen or single girl does. Great way to share the truth!

    • megdgonzalez August 13, 2015 at 10:11 am - Reply

      Thanks! And I know what you mean! I looked everywhere trying to figure our where to draw the line. It was really difficult at times to figure it out, but these five really helped!

  13. Iris @ The Blue Birdhouse August 12, 2015 at 5:19 pm - Reply

    Good rules….to make it even easier is to even do no touching…..then there is no slippery slope. But then…don’t wait forever to get married. If you know are suppose to be together…why tempt yourself. 😀

    • megdgonzalez August 12, 2015 at 7:44 pm - Reply

      I know what you mean. My husband and I were together for only 17 months before we got married and after month 5, I asked him almost weekly if he wanted to elope 😉

  14. Deborah August 12, 2015 at 4:57 pm - Reply

    I agree, physical intimacy between a married couple is a beautiful thing!
    Waiting to date until you and the other partner are ready for marriage (in general, not necessarily with each other), is one of the best first steps I can think of. When you look at that other person as your potential suitor, you really want what God has declared as best for the other person as well as yourself. This allows you to consciously keep the other person from temptation in addition to keeping yourself from temptation.
    Thank you for sharing this very important topic Meg.
    Blessings,

  15. andi August 12, 2015 at 4:08 pm - Reply

    i think if all couples would stick to those guidelines you outlined – and to 1 Cor 6:20…

    • megdgonzalez August 12, 2015 at 4:58 pm - Reply

      Thanks for sharing the verse. 1 Corinthians 6:20 says, “You were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”

  16. Caroline @ In Due Time August 12, 2015 at 3:19 pm - Reply

    I think the not being alone in bedrooms is a key one!!! Great information!

    • megdgonzalez August 12, 2015 at 3:28 pm - Reply

      Thanks Caroline! It’s a rule that I hated in high school, but really appreciated in later years. Bedrooms set the stage for things to go too far too fast.

  17. Marissa August 12, 2015 at 3:14 pm - Reply

    It is a slippery slope… Prayer… Pray over relationships… He will give you strength

    Marissa

    • megdgonzalez August 12, 2015 at 3:18 pm - Reply

      I will be praying for you Marissa! I know it can be a terribly slippery slope. If you (or anyone else) have any questions, feel free to e-mail me or find me on Facebook messages.

  18. Kristen August 12, 2015 at 3:02 pm - Reply

    Great suggestions, some that many could benefit from hearing and practicing!

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