Recently a reader asked some really great questions about guys and dating that I think a lot of girls might be asking.
1. How do you prepare your heart for a Godly relationship?
You pray that God is preparing your heart. But beyond that, there’s not a lot you can do. It’s different than everything else, and honestly it’s really scary. At some point you have to decide to trust them with everything–your hopes, your fears, your heart. That requires opening yourself up for hurt, and with the wrong person it will hurt. But with the right one, it will be worth it.
2. How do you know if what you got is the real deal?
At the beginning, you’ll simply know there’s something different about them. They make you smile, and you feel at ease around them. In dating, everybody puts on their best face in the beginning. It’s when the masks come off and they can see all your goofy quirks and love you for them, instead of in spite of them. This is a great indicator. Then you pray an awful lot and listen for God’s answer. Sometimes the answer is clear, but sometimes its just a slight pull on your heart. And you have to decide if this is someone you can fight for (and fight with) for the rest of your life.
3. How do you find the nice Christian guy? I feel like in these days they’re slim to none. They all are after something that will benefit them.
Time. That is the only way to tell. As I said before, everyone can keep up appearances for a while, but eventually you’ll see their true values, beliefs, nature, etc. I know it’s easy as a Christian girl to want to rush to the alter because the whole waiting until marriage thing is hard, but I cannot stress enough how important it is to give yourself time to get to know the other person. My dad has always said you need at least a year–all four seasons–to get to know someone before you get married. That’s a good rule of thumb. Keep talking and really listening–you might be surprised what you hear.
I really appreciate questions like these! Please feel free to e-mail me or post in the comments. I will never post a question without your permission.