Taking the High Road

Taking the high road can be lonely and frustrating, but it’s worth it in the long run.

Taking the High Road

What is the “high road”? 

The phrase “taking the high road,” means not retaliating. When someone makes an unkind comment or cuts in line, our instinct is to react and get even. Taking the high road, means we let the comment or action pass without reaction.

Why would I want to take the high road? 

Quick, harsh words or actions can give us instant gratification, but they can do long lasting damage. An “I hate you!” screamed in the middle of a argument can feel good in the moment, but words like that stick in the minds of family and friends long after the fight is over. Maybe you’ve never said that, but what about those mean little comments. The ones that really sting because you know the other person’s weak spots.

What does taking the high road look like? 

In those long-standing relationships–parents, siblings, spouses–we learn what makes the other person tick. We’ve been around them long enough to know which buttons to push to drive them through the roof. When take the high road, need to be award of those weak spots so that you AVOID them. In the heat of the moment, you’ll want nothing more than to poke at those buttons with a big sharp stick. But you can’t. Not if you want a healthy relationship.

With family and friends, you must learn how to have healthy disagreements. So you need to drum up those communication skills and calmly tell the other person why you’re upset.

Are there any short term benefits to taking the high road? 

It will shorten the length of your fight. I can’t tell you how many times, in my experience, an argument has grown or changed directions because of someone’s quick words. All of the sudden, the fight is no longer about the original, but it’s about the mean comment. If you make the mean comment or serve one right back, this circular argument can go on forever!

Do you take the high road in arguments? What helps you hold your tongue? What has happened when you didn’t hold your tongue?

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By | 2015-09-08T09:45:48+00:00 August 31st, 2015|Relationships|25 Comments

About the Author:

I'm a tea-sipping, adventure-seeking, pug-loving kind of girl. I'm crazy for God and want to share his love with awesome girls around the globe.

25 Comments

  1. Jonathan Key September 1, 2015 at 4:25 am - Reply

    Showing people grace and love when they are at their worst is really the way to go. It’s totally disarming and helps refresh the soul. Great reminder to take the high road!

  2. Mary Collins August 31, 2015 at 9:06 pm - Reply

    Taking the high road is what I do in most circumstances, which irritates those around me, especially when they are trying to get a rise out of me.

  3. Lauren English August 31, 2015 at 7:07 pm - Reply

    I love this! It’s been so true in our marriage. One of the things that helps me to check my heart and hold my tongue is to try to assume the best in my husband always…to assume that his comments come from a heart of love or a heart that’s hurting (instead of an angry heart). It helps me to remember that I love him and he loves me, instead of just focusing on whatever we’re mad about. Thanks for sharing this, Megan! It’s beautiful!

    • Megan Gonzalez August 31, 2015 at 7:36 pm - Reply

      That is so wise Lauren! Thank you for sharing. Assuming the person means the best, does go a long way in helping ease an argument.

  4. andi August 31, 2015 at 5:35 pm - Reply

    and getting blessed by God for “doing the right thing” is great as well 😀

  5. Rene D August 31, 2015 at 5:29 pm - Reply

    Oh to hold your tongue – Isn’t that a tough one?? I find the enemy gets me here because I always want to have the last word, but if I am obedient to God, I hear Him telling me to apologize 🙂 ….

    • Megan Gonzalez August 31, 2015 at 6:47 pm - Reply

      It really is! And sometimes I hate it when I hear His still, small voice in the back of my head telling me to cut it out. But I’m never sorry I listened!

  6. Lindsay August 31, 2015 at 4:38 pm - Reply

    This is such an important post, one I wish everyone could read, think about, let marinate, and take to heart. Taking the high road isn’t easy but it’s often healthy and makes you stronger.

  7. claire August 31, 2015 at 4:09 pm - Reply

    I’ve got better at this as I’ve gotten older. Now I’m much more capable of taking the high road, and I’ve learned that it’s actually a nice road to be on 🙂

    • Megan Gonzalez August 31, 2015 at 6:46 pm - Reply

      You do have to kind of get over the hump, but then you’re right, it’s not too bad.

  8. Krysten August 31, 2015 at 3:56 pm - Reply

    I’m am slowly learning how to take the high road. I’m a very quick emotions kind of girl and in the past I’ll just say what’s on my mind. Especially when it’s a fight happening I’ll say things to hurt the other person because they’re hurting me. Which I know is bad. As I get older and am calming down I try my best to take the high road because in the long run in makes relationships healthier.

    • Megan Gonzalez August 31, 2015 at 6:45 pm - Reply

      It’s natural to want to cause hurt when you feel hurt, but resisting that pull does go a long way in building stronger relationships! I know it’s hard to calm yourself in the middle of a fight, but you’re doing the right thing. Keep up the good work!

  9. Michelle August 31, 2015 at 2:45 pm - Reply

    James 1-19-20 is what keeps me from speaking when I know I shouldn’t. I used to be the kind of person that always needed to have the last word. I love to talk and I loved to be right. But the deeper I have gone in my relationship with Christ the more I’ve learned that being right and being heard isn’t always what God is calling us to do. Praise God for the guard he has placed on my tongue.

    • Megan Gonzalez August 31, 2015 at 2:56 pm - Reply

      That is so wonderful to hear! I know I have to fight against that “wanting to be right” issue. It’s a hard battle, but I’m getting better and better at it!

  10. Marissa August 31, 2015 at 1:24 pm - Reply

    As I get older, I find myself trying harder to take the high road in circumstances that are even more difficult then I thought was possible. But keeping my mouth shut is important because if I’ve tried to build a friendship with another person, I don’t want to ruin it in a moment of lost temper.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

    Marissa

    • Megan Gonzalez August 31, 2015 at 2:54 pm - Reply

      That’s such a good thing to keep in mind. Even when I’m piping mad, I try to think about the long-term consequences of my actions.

  11. Melanie August 31, 2015 at 11:22 am - Reply

    I don’t like conflict, so I try to avoid disagreements as much as possible. I’m not sure that avoiding them counts as taking the high road, though. I need to work on handling conflict better.

    • Megan Gonzalez August 31, 2015 at 2:53 pm - Reply

      Flat out avoidance often doesn’t help the situation either. You need to talk it out to let the other person know what’s bothering you and why. Otherwise the situation can’t change!

  12. Nichole @CuppaGeek August 31, 2015 at 10:15 am - Reply

    I have to use this way of thinking quite a bit at work. I’ve learned that if you don’t, things spiral out of control pretty quickly. But there is also a limit to the amount of high road thinking you can do. You don’t want to become a doorstop to someone.

    • Megan Gonzalez August 31, 2015 at 2:52 pm - Reply

      That is true! You can’t let people walk over you, but returning spiteful comment for spiteful comment won’t stop a bad cycle. When standing up for yourself, you have to be calm and self-assured, not vengeful.

  13. Emilie Talks August 31, 2015 at 10:12 am - Reply

    My husband and I try to never let arguments escalate. We’re both so determined to not fight that we’ve always been able to talk through our problems instead of raising our voice.

    • Megan Gonzalez August 31, 2015 at 2:49 pm - Reply

      That is a great way to handle things! The louder voices get, the less you’re heard.

  14. Caroline @ In Due Time August 31, 2015 at 10:05 am - Reply

    This is so true! I love the phrase ‘be unoffendable’ and try to live by that!!!! Also, speaking truth in love! 🙂

    • Megan Gonzalez August 31, 2015 at 2:49 pm - Reply

      I love that phrase “be unoffendable”! I will have to remember that 🙂

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